I die from tired!

Ok, this week has been about as unproductive as I can have been. I did not manage to finish the paper I hoped to finish, I did not manage to get the interview done for another paper, though I did manage to set a date, and I did not get research going on the third paper. I did manage to get the apartment cleaned and the laundry done, I did manage to tell the landlord that my heaters don't seem to function and the toilet tank is running, and I did manage to get out of bed everyday and go to school and work. However, the papers have now become looming distractions that are bearing down on me and my mental well-being. I know I will manage to get them done, but I am having trouble getting motivated, and when I do get motivated, I am having trouble maintaining the concentration necessary to put my thoughts together. Sleep comes in fits and starts right now, usually by 10:00pm I am wiped out and ready for sleep, and I wake several times through the night with my brain alight with all that needs to be accomplished, and then 7:00 - 7:30am every morning I wake up whether I want to or not. I need a week of nothingness, and though I have done almost nothing this week, it still feels like I have had to do many things. I guess I have done a lot, but not of the right things.
Tonight I head to Ottawa for the weekend, and I am muchly looking forward to it. Social contact is something that is sorely lacking in my Kingston existence. I basically go to work, or go to school and that is all I do. Someone asked me the other day what time the bars close in Kingston, and I was unable to answer because I have not been out later than 10:00pm since I moved here. In order to try and rectify the fact that my classmates and I do not do any of the social things together, I have decided to host a potluck next week, and that will hopefully provide a much needed outlet for social interaction in the city. This weekend, I will get to spend with Sceptigal, and have dinner Saturday night with some of her good friends and I am very much looking forward to both. It is funny, in a disturbing sort of way, the less social interaction I have, the more I take on the introvert persona. I crave the interaction, and yet I find it harder and harder to leave the house when I know I have to go into a social environment. It could be that winter is upon us and the lessening amounts of daylight are coming into play, but it feels more than just the usual bout of SADS. I just have to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. May is not so far away, there is much to be done in that time, but ultimately it is only 6 months, and hell I have certainly lived through worse senarios than the one I am currently living in =) I am emotionally happy in most respects, and contrary to the whining, I am enjoying my program.
I guess I just am lonely. I want to have a poker night with the boys, or the international flavours and games nights with Pat and LA, and mostly I want to live in the same city as my partner =)Only 6 months for the latter at least, and two full weeks over xmas will be spent in the nation's capital, which will be wonderful.

Marriaaaaaaage is what bwings us hewre together today!

So, I have not posted in a while. my life has been a whirlwind that does not seem to slow down any at all. School ties up 90% of my time, work consumes another 25%, and then my newly renewed relationship eases out the fact that my time is committed for more time than exists =). Life, it has been said, is a funny thing. And I would have to agree with that. When I left Newfoundland at the beginning of the summer, I had very different goals and viewpoints in mind, in every sense of the word. I saw a long-term future with Jill, and a continued career in the academic world. Sadly, the move, which we had hoped would help fix the issues she and I faced, only caused them to grow and ultimately led to the demise of the realtionship, and my severe need of an acadmic break caused a rethinking of my career moves.
In the wake of that ending a new beginning arose; one that I was not suspecting. A refound friendship with Skeptigal, who also was just out of a relationship blossomed quickly back into the state of being we had obtained before her original move to Ottawa four years ago. Except this time, there was a deeper connection than before. Something was just.... so completely right about the situation. It seemed that we had not really been apart, even though we had for several years. This connection... well the long and short of it, has led me to propose. She has accepted and we are to be married next year, on September 8th in Ottawa. It seems fast sometimes, and perfectly right at the same time. It is truly a wonderful thing. We fit together in ways I couldn't really have imagined. It lends credence to the concept of fate for me, that somehow, this was just meant to be.
I hope everyone is as happy as I am right now, and I hope that you are happy for me as well =)